13 Comments

1. 

   Darcy July 28, 2011 Reply

   So glad your story has a happy ending. :)

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     Lindsey July 28, 2011 Reply

     Me too! :) Thanks, Darcy.

2. 

   Katrina July 28, 2011 Reply

   Where did you work for CEF? I also worked for CEF, but in CT. The school/ministry I alluded to in my post on the student recovery FB group* was the Children's Ministry Institute in MO. Did you ever go? Do you still work for CEF?(*the question was what was the first thing you came to grips with when you left ATI.)

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     Lindsey July 28, 2011 Reply

     I worked for CEF in the southeast. And I did go to the headquarters in MO for training, but only do the training to teach TCE Level 1. I stopped working for CEF when I went to college fourteen years ago.

3. 

   Michelle July 28, 2011 Reply

   I can relate to much of what you said. Particularly if I followed all the rules God would bless me etc. I did. He has blessed me, but not in the ways "they" promised. It reminds me of Eve in the Garden (Genesis). It was a very cunning half truth (her eyes WERE opened to know good from evil). So now, I am trying to relive my life in true Grace (unmerited favour) and discover more fully who I am in Christ. It's a slow process, but I thank the Lord for keeping me in His grip and grieve for those who have lost all hope as a result of legalism and failed promises. Thanks again for sharing.

4. 

   Will Hunsucker July 29, 2011 Reply

   "...Now I’m Just Confused"
   
   That sums up 3/4 of my 3 yrs in the MTC. The tension between the relationship of grace I needed w/God and others and the unrealistic expectations and rules we lived by was enough to literally make my head hurt. Sometimes daily. Thanks for sharing!

5. 

   donnam July 29, 2011 Reply

   great stuff!!! =)

6. 

   David July 31, 2011 Reply

   I feel you there. I never understood the happy teenagers at the Knoxville Conference, I thought that God was shutting me out of everything good. Since I was a very artistic person they had no idea of what to do with me (there was the whole chalk talk thing, but I just used it to come up with ideas for writing.) They felt free to condemn my talent so long as they didn't have to show me what to do with it. This drove a wedge between my sister and I that lasted for years.
   
   It wasn't until I joined the Catholic Church and saw Biblical authority in action and experienced the beautiful and perfect liberty of orthodoxy that I saw the irony. Gothard has no authority to tell people how to live with his endless, soul crushing, beauty stripping lists. Gothard stomps where Popes fear to walk.

7. 

   Jaime July 31, 2011 Reply

   So much of this mirrors my own experience! I was a natural rule-follower, too, and thought that made me holier than others, yet somehow, deep down inside, I never measured up. And, like you, as much as I tried to conform and was eager to please, I STILL wound up being accused of rebellion. After I got free of ATI, I came to realize how much I had in common with the Apostle Paul when he talks about what a perfect little Pharisee he was! This is such a great article. Really encapsulates the ATI experience.

8. 

   Heather August 4, 2011 Reply

   Your story sounds *SO VERY* much like mine! I was into Bill Gothard, but not as much as you were. I was 18 when I went to my first Basic Seminar. But I wanted to enroll my kids (when I had them) in ATI.. Bleh!
   
   
   But the similarities between the two of us being the "good girl" and the inward struggle knowing we were not.
   
   My story had a very rough patch...thankfully you woke up sooner than I did. It took me a good six years, and it wasn't a pretty six years.

9. 

   Lindsey August 7, 2011 Reply

   Thank you all for your sweet comments! Aren't you glad that we serve a God who is able to rescue and redeem?

10. 

    Mrs. Campbell March 2, 2014 Reply

    I am as well walking out of the meek and quiet spirit condemnation. I was prayed over to have a meek and quiet spirit. I grew resentful and bitter. I grew up under BG teaching and thought GOd was disappointed in me and I always fell short. Today My husband and I did a word study on 1Peter 3:4 Meek and Quiet spirit isn't our personality. Our spirit as meek is to obey God and only Him, and to listen to Him. Inlight of all this stuff coming out about BG My husband is wondering if scripture was taken out of context to be used to keep women quiet regarding abuse. The saddest part is that people will turn on God because of this man's evil and sin. I am still working through feelings of failing God. I am learning He loves me. I also see how Meek and quiet spirit is loudly spoken about yet, 1Peter 3:7 were a man is to honor his wife so his prayers won't be hindered. BG teaching is more that a woman is lesser, not weaker. Weaker is not something brutal. Men are suppose to love their wives as Christ loved the Church who dies and gave himself for it. Greater love has no man than this that he lay his life down for a friend. Legalism sucks and it't the letter of the law and getting out of it is painful.

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      esbee March 2, 2014 Reply

      "Legalism sucks and it't the letter of the law and getting out of it is painful."
      
      that's because of all those thorns that are used to keep a person entangled in the vines of legalism!